In a conversation with a friend this afternoon, we eventually visited an incident regarding an individual, that I for one have not talked to for quite some time. I made a comment on a particular event that still bugs me somewhat, when I think about it, and my friend replied that had he known more, he would have spoken up on the matter. Furthermore, he described how someone can get caught in the excitement of the moment, but then taking care of the details, the rest of the story, the matter ends up never getting resolved. Never getting completed. Transaction incomplete. (Which is exactly what happened in this event)
The more I thought about it, the more I realized there have been a number of times and situations where a similar statement has been made. “If I would have known that’s what was going on, I would have helped.” “I could have done something.” “We would have done something.” “I would have intervened on your behalf.” “We would have found another way.” “It didn’t have to be like this.”
Information….what could have been helpful yesterday? One of my favorite Adam Sandler lines, from The Wedding Singer. What would you do differently regarding situations, relationships, career, financial, marital, family, friends, church, politics…having the whole story…have the truth and the whole truth and nothing but. What a concept.
To be able to say “Can I be real and honest and humble enough to share what’s going on in my life without you blowing up in my face. I have a problem, it needs to be fixed and I need your help. Can we focus on the solution and not the problem?” People are drawn to what is most talked about…what gets attention and focus…”if it bleeds, it leads”. If it bleeds, it needs medical attention!!! It needs people trained in stopping the bleeding…people trained in treatment…individuals and teams with the ability to focus on the “let’s get you better, first” rather than “what the heck were you thinking.”
In my 1st blog, “Life: Not for the faint of heart”, I mentioned the importance of support systems and more importantly, who is in your support system. The critics, the passers-by, those who gawk, they are the ones who first point out the wrong in your situation. If you are admitting a need, stating the wrong can feel pointless. The only point in stating the wrong first to bring clarification to the situation where the second point will be a solution and the third point will be a plan of action. Build your support system to be one of First Responders, not the first of “the last thing I need right now”.
More importantly, we could probably all reduce our dependency on support systems if we were not so rushed. I need my money and I need it now. I need a $5 Hot & Ready. Fast food. Drive Thru. Fourth Meal. Open 24/7. Done in an hour. The cool reality of taking your time, is the gathering…the aging…the coming together of elements that need to fuse to bring an ease and a savour to life and bring the process to completion. Like a fine wine. Better decisions happen naturally the more information is available. Yes, this can be taken to the extreme….read any statistics on the growth of the internet? And now there’s one more blog to read! 🙂 But a lack of information, leads to decisions made in haste, which have a track record of almost never working out, for hardly anyone. Some would cite government as a prime example of this, but again…another topic, another day.
Living a life without regrets means making consistent, daily decisions that happen on purpose. You be the one to define your life, not life define you. Common sense. Wisdom. Prayer. Counsel. Understanding. The reason the rest of the story is so intriguing is because of the decisions that were made that very few knew about. But the person making the decision had what they needed to make the right decision to make for a great story. Get wisdom. Gain understanding. Find a way to possess what you need so that people will want to hear about you…what you should not be afraid to share. The truth. The whole truth. And nothing else. It makes for a powerful story. Pure. Simple. No doubts. No regrets. Especially when it comes to yesterday.